The Cool Kids Table

Do you remember what your school cafeteria looked like?  The tables all neatly arranged.  Those little food trays?  The almost too shiny freshly mopped floors that REEK of ammonia?  And of course, the segregation.  Every school cafeteria has a "cool kids table".  The kids who dress nicer than everyone else, who seemingly always have something interesting and fun going on in their life, who can make your day by asking you to borrow a pencil because OH MY GOD that means they know you exist!  That table is the topic of conversation, everyone dreams of getting invited to sit there.  

And then there are kids like me.

The little nerd girl sitting alone silently picking at her sandwich, occupying the last 6 inches of bench, rarely even looking up from the table.

That concept DOES NOT GO AWAY.  You'll see that in offices, and for me - in the fitness world.  In the southern California competition circuit, there is a very obvious cool kids table.  They're at every show either competing or watching one of the other "cool kids" dominate their height class, who do not accept anything other than first place as being a success.  They're the ones who pop up in just about every picture taken at shows, who have the largest cheering section of friends - and even people who have never even met them but have looked up to them for years, are constantly asked to shoot with the top photographers, who have a ton of sponsors, who have amazing parties to celebrate their victories. 

And then there are competitors like me.

I show up to the competition, excited if I even place (which I haven't).  My success is just even being able to get up on stage.  I get excited if absolutely anyone is clapping for me. I have one sponsor who are some of the most AMAZING and supportive people you'll ever meet.  After the show, I go home, alone, and shower and sleep.  And then I always seem to get a message on Facebook the next day, from some girl who competed in her first show - thanking me for making her feel more comfortable and less out of place.  And saying she looks forward to competing at another show with me in the future because I helped her have a fun and amazing experience.

And then I realize how much I don't want to sit at the cool kids table.  I'm fine sitting at the end of the nerd table - because I'll always move over and let you sit next to me.