Let's play Jeopardy:
"People like to see my progress pics. It motivates them."
"I just post ab pics to show people that they can do it too."
"It's not a booty shot, I'm showing everyone how hard I work on my glutes."
What are things I tell myself when I'm lying? Ding ding ding!
Yeah, I was THAT girl. Picking up my shirt, slight head tilt to the right, ab shot in the bathroom mirror. And post - "Abs are made in the kitchen. Keep that diet tight!" Timer cam pic of my ass in a bikini - no wait I don't like the lighting. Retake. No I liked my pose better the first time. Retake. And post - "So proud of my glute progress. Squats baby!"
Chances are if you're reading this blog, you have at least one friend on Facebook who does what I used to do. Hell, maybe you ARE that person. So let me explain for you the mentality behind these pics.
Competing as a physique athlete is a giant mind-f*ck. Your life revolves around how you look. That was my life for 4 years. So as for the "progress pics" - they are posted from a place of needing validation. Although I'd never admit it then (nor will the girls who do it now) I NEEDED to see people liking my picture. I NEEDED to read the comments telling me I looked great, telling me I was motivating (which I wasn't), telling me they wish they could look like that, telling me I was pretty, telling me the wanted to be just... like... me! And I'm happy they're not. That is not a good person to be. I'd tell myself I posted those pics to motivate others or to "hold myself accountable." But looking back now, I know that's a load of crap. I wasn't posting those pics to motivate other people, I posted those pics because the comments/likes/shares motivated me! They fueled the ginormous ego-beast inside me. I wanted to hear from other people how awesome I was. And that's... well... sad, pathetic, childish.
These "progress pics" weren't motivating. They were a GIANT neon sign to the world screaming, "I'm insecure. Like my ab pic! LIKE IT!!!! LIKE MY ABS! LIKE ME!!!!" And yes - it makes me a little sick to my stomach now that I was that girl. That I advertised my insecurities. I wore them like a badge of freaking honor - Lieutenant Robin von Insecurity, reporting for duty SIR!
So to all of you who I annoyed the living crap out of with my "progress pics" - I present to you on a silver platter a giant heart-felt apology. I'm sorry. I was a chick-douche. Douchette?
During my last prep I did not post one single progress pic. I knew it was going to be my last competition ever, and this time I wanted to do it with a little dignity, a little pride, and an ounce of maturity.
And now that I'm coaching competition girls and nutrition clients, I STILL don't post ab/booty shots to try and round up more clients. How my abs or butt look on any given day has nothing to do with where I've come from, what I know, and how my clients respond. I'm a well educated woman, my clients speak for themselves and THEY are my best advertisements, not myself. I'd like to think my clients, prospective clients, and society in general will respect me more if I carry myself as a strong knowledgeable woman than as an insecure girl. And well - I would add "professional" to the strong knowledgeable part - but I think I talk about poop too much for that. Hey, still gotta be me, right?