The Cool Kids Table

Do you remember what your school cafeteria looked like?  The tables all neatly arranged.  Those little food trays?  The almost too shiny freshly mopped floors that REEK of ammonia?  And of course, the segregation.  Every school cafeteria has a "cool kids table".  The kids who dress nicer than everyone else, who seemingly always have something interesting and fun going on in their life, who can make your day by asking you to borrow a pencil because OH MY GOD that means they know you exist!  That table is the topic of conversation, everyone dreams of getting invited to sit there.  

And then there are kids like me.

The little nerd girl sitting alone silently picking at her sandwich, occupying the last 6 inches of bench, rarely even looking up from the table.

That concept DOES NOT GO AWAY.  You'll see that in offices, and for me - in the fitness world.  In the southern California competition circuit, there is a very obvious cool kids table.  They're at every show either competing or watching one of the other "cool kids" dominate their height class, who do not accept anything other than first place as being a success.  They're the ones who pop up in just about every picture taken at shows, who have the largest cheering section of friends - and even people who have never even met them but have looked up to them for years, are constantly asked to shoot with the top photographers, who have a ton of sponsors, who have amazing parties to celebrate their victories. 

And then there are competitors like me.

I show up to the competition, excited if I even place (which I haven't).  My success is just even being able to get up on stage.  I get excited if absolutely anyone is clapping for me. I have one sponsor who are some of the most AMAZING and supportive people you'll ever meet.  After the show, I go home, alone, and shower and sleep.  And then I always seem to get a message on Facebook the next day, from some girl who competed in her first show - thanking me for making her feel more comfortable and less out of place.  And saying she looks forward to competing at another show with me in the future because I helped her have a fun and amazing experience.

And then I realize how much I don't want to sit at the cool kids table.  I'm fine sitting at the end of the nerd table - because I'll always move over and let you sit next to me.

I am HUNGRY

I am HUNGRY!

You know that all consuming feeling? You try to distract your mind, but it just gravitates back to one though? You want it more than anything, more than the air you breathe? The kind of hungry that courses through your body, you can feel it in your bones, in your eyelashes, in your soul?

I am HUNGRY!

But not for food, I hunger for the stage. I hunger for the tired body, for the smelly spray tan, for the drag queen makeup, for the bikini that costs more than my car payment, for the bright lights, for the hundreds of pairs of eyes analyzing every inch of my body. I hunger for the adrenaline rush of stepping on that stage and strutting the body I spent years sculpting and months revealing.

I will make it happen.

I will stay HUNGRY!

The Little Engine That Could - Choo Choo MF'ers

I am a gluten intolerant metabolically damaged sufferer of IBS with adrenal fatigue syndrome and a thyroid problem.

Okay, not really.  But if I listened to the advice and diagnoses of everyone around me, that would be my current state.  Yes, my progress is lacking, and by lacking I mean has come to a complete halt.  MANY people in my situation would have thrown in the towel WEEKS ago.  Not me. I just harness my inner "Little Engine That Could" and keep on chugging along.  CHOO MF-ING CHOO!  

So how am I overcoming all this?  I talked to my amazing coach, Pete Ciccone of 619 Muscle.  This is the whole point of having a coach.  Having one voice to listen to, one plan to follow, one mind that is staying a step ahead of you and figuring out the best way to help you progress as an athlete.  There is so much clutter between what you read and what you hear and unsolicited advice that people will toss your way because everyone wants to believe they know best.  Anyway, Pete asked how I was feeling and I believe my direct quote was "I'm tired, hungry, sore, grumpy, angry, I hate everything and everyone and I want to die."  And no, that is not me being over-dramatic.  That is exactly how I have been feeling for the past 2 weeks.  Anyone who knows me is aware that those are very un-Robinlike characteristics.  So he re-evaluated my diet and training program and decided I need to eat more.  HALLELUJER!  Bring on the apples, grapefruit, pineapple and almond butter!  Throwing a little extra coal in this engine and this "Little Engine That Could" will be the "Little Engine That Did"!

Something is Wrong, But Nothing is Wrong, But Something is Wrong, But Nothing is Wrong?!?!

I feel like crying.  I want to cry.  I have an OVERWHELMING URGE to cry.  About absolutely nothing.  There is nothing bothering me right now, nothing is making me sad or upset.  I just can't shake the feeling that I am going to start crying at any second.  But nothing is wrong.

But something has to be wrong.  10 minutes ago I noticed that my jaw was completely clenched.  Like I'm stressed out beyond belief, on the verge of pulling my hair out.  But nothing is wrong.

But something has to be wrong.  My heart feels like it's going to beat out of my chest.  Like I am anxious or nervously panicking.  But NOTHING IS WRONG!!!

And no, it's not PMS.

This is one of the unpleasant aspects of changing up your diet.  It can throw your hormones out of whack.  So what do I do in this situation?  I just keep going throughout my day, remembering that nothing is wrong until I can get home, put on an emotional movie, and just cry.  "The Blind Side", I'll be seeing you later!  <3

How to Support a Dieter - For Dummies

Your friend, your spouse, your roommate, your co-worker, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your son or daughter, your mother or father, your sister or brother... SOMEONE around you is dieting.  So how the heck do you deal with them?  Here are a few simple rules to follow to be supportive.

1. STOP TELLING THEM WHAT YOU ATE!  The dieter in your life is restricting their food to things that will nourish their body and help them reach their goal.  That does not mean that they stop getting tempted by pizza or cookies or ice cream.  And that CERTAINLY does not mean that they want to hear about it.  I often find myself in the situation of saying something like "Wow, I've been craving pizza for 3 days now!"
WHAT PEOPLE USUALLY SAY: "Dude, I had this pizza yesterday from this place in Little Italy! It was to die for!  Perfect soft crust and the cheese was super fresh and melted to perfection.  You've got to try it!" 
WHAT PEOPLE SHOULD SAY: "Wow, good job at sticking to your plan.  That's great will power.  Hey did you see Magic Mike yet?"  Don't make them miss the food they want even more!  They're resisting temptation, it's not an easy thing to do.  Change the subject!  Help them take their mind off the thing they're craving!

2. STOP TELLING THEM THEY'VE LOST ENOUGH WEIGHT!  Your idea of how the dieter in your life should look may not be the same as the picture they have in mind.  It is THEIR goal, not yours. 
WHAT PEOPLE USUALLY SAY: "You're too skinny now!  Eat a cheeseburger!"
WHAT PEOPLE SHOULD SAY:  "You're making great progress!  How far are you from your goal?"  Acknowledge their progress in a positive way!

3. STOP CRITIQUING THEIR FOOD CHOICES!  When someone is on a diet and is trying to keep their food choices as healthy, lean, and low calorie as possible, they're going to get creative with some of the concoctions they come up with.  Just because you would not eat it, there's no reason to let them know that.
WHAT PEOPLE USUALLY SAY:  "That looks gross!  You're really going to eat that?!?!"
WHAT PEOPLE SHOULD SAY: NOT A DAMN WORD!  I'm quite sure you wouldn't like them telling you that your food is fattening and how many calories and grams of fat it has.  So don't critique their food either.  When people seem me walking around the office with a big bowl of egg whites with mustard and cayenne pepper on it, I have been told "That looks horrible" on more than one occasion. Yeah... I like it and I still have to eat it, but it's a HELL of a lot less appetizing when someone else expresses how unapproving they are of my meal choice.

4. STOP TEMPTING THEM! This is the one that bugs me the most.  It's almost like people make it a game to try and break me.  You wouldn't hold a beer under a recovering alcoholic's nose, so don't hold a cookie under mine! 
WHAT PEOPLE USUALLY SAY: "Just have one cookie, it's not going to kill you.  I won't tell anyone."
WHAT PEOPLE SHOULD SAY: "I'm sure you'll be able to enjoy one some other day."  Just because no one saw you eat the cookie doesn't mean you didn't consume the calories.  Remember, the strictness of one's diet doesn't last forever.  People eventually allow themselves the chance to enjoy treats and the foods they love.  Eating off plan makes you overcome with guilt, enjoying a treat when it's part of your plan makes it much more enjoyable.

5. STOP TELLING THEM HOW THEY'VE CHANGED!  They are STILL the same person, they have just decided to pursue a healthier, longer life.
WHAT PEOPLE USUALLY SAY: "You're not fun anymore!  Just come out and have a drink!"
WHAT PEOPLE SHOULD SAY: "Let's make plans to hang out.  How does Sunday sound?"  Trust me, they still like you.  They still want to be a part of your life just as much as you want to be a part of theirs.  And that might mean they're not going bar hopping with you or out to dinner on any given night.  But don't cut them out of your life, they'll make time for you.   There are PLENTY of activities you can do that do not involve food or drinking.

I hope this has helped you find ways to deal with and support the dieter in your life.  Always exercise precaution, changes to your diet more often than not affect your mood.  Your dieter is likely to be more sensitive than usual.  Be kind, be supportive and encouraging, and be yourself!

EASY WAY TO DROP 5 LBS IN ONE WEEK!!!

I've been doing a lot of reading, research, and some personal experimenting.  I've found something that helped me drop 5 lbs in one week!  Me!  With only 4 workouts, no cardio and no changes to my diet!  Bubbies Kosher Dill Pickles!  Just by eating a Bubbies kosher dill with breakfast and one before bed my body has kicked into metabolic overdrive!  How you ask?  The particular way these pickles are brined gives them an ideal water to sodium ratio and since they are also loaded with fiber this combination acts as a catalyst to draw water into your muscles thus activating your muscle fibers from the start of the day so that they burn more calories though out the day even while you're sedentary!  The dill has trace amounts of capsaicin which is a natural metabolic booster.  Eating one before bed time has the same affect so that you're burning more calories in your sleep!  This is amazing!

Okay, so how many of you are frantically searching for places that sell Bubbies Kosher Dill Pickles, and how many of you are currently Googling to see if pickles have any of those properties?  Point being, I just made all that crap up.  Until about 10 minutes ago I never even knew of Bubbie's brand of pickles. Any meathead with a computer can give dieting and training advice and PEOPLE WILL FOLLOW IT!  Do not under any circumstance take dieting and training advice you find at face value without doing a little research first!  Check their sources of information, are any medical journals or studies cited?  Did it come from a .com or .net domain as opposed to a .org or .gov (which TEND to carry a little more credibility, but not always.)  Did they give a name brand product or a type of product?  If they're constantly name dropping one brand, most likely they're getting kick backs from that company.  There is a lot of false information floating around out on them there interwebs.  Do yer research buckaroos!

In the Begninning...



Every journey begins with a first step...

So where did my journey begin?  I was one of those kids who ran before I walked, I needed to climb on everything, I was a master of bed jumping, and I never once touched the lava (aka the carpet) when jumping from the couch to the coffee table to the rocking chair in the living room.  And guess what? My sister was the same way.  Guess how annoying that was for my parents?  Yup, throw the kiddies in gymnastics and tire them out. Plus we TOTALLY wanted to be like Mary Lou Retton after watching her in the 1984 Olympics.  I was 4 years old then and I STILL remember watching her vaulting to victory.  So that was the very beginning.

Fast forward 26 years later...

30 years old, office job, normal gym-goer.  Retired gymnast and acrobat.  What's a girl to do?  I thought turning 30 should be memorialized with something epic.  Marathon!  No wait, I hate running.  Bikini competition? Sure, perfect!  I love working out!  Wait?  What do you mean I have to diet?  Ummm so switching to Splenda when baking cupcakes counts as dieting right?  NO?!?!  Okay fine, I can diet for 12 weeks.  That's such a small fraction of time in the grand scheme of my life!  And besides, this is just a one time thing.

And of course being Robin, nothing EVER goes as planned.  My one time check off my bucket list changed my life.  I fell in LOVE with the fitness industry.  I've tried going back to a "normal" life and I realized fitness is my new "normal".  And yes friends and family tell me I'm obsessed, even lost some friends because of it.  But I really can't think of anything I'd rather be obsessed with!  I had a few years of my life where I was completely miserable and self medicated with a lot of alcohol.  I think this is a way better choice!  I like being able to constantly set new goals and blow them out of the water.  I like knowing that I'm strong.  I like knowing that I'm turning 33 in a few months and people still think I'm in my early 20's because I take good care of myself.  I like constantly pursuing knowledge of health, and I like knowing that I love and respect myself enough to still have the occasional donut or cupcake or ice cream because I will ALWAYS have a sweet tooth and I'm okay with that.  ;-)